September Soul

It’s officially September, and I’m just not sure how we got here so quickly. This summer went by in a bit of a blur… travel and adventure and nesting and job applications aside, I grieved the loss of loved ones, made my first TV appearance for this wonderful blog, and worked to lift up the people I love as a helper, a friend, and a support. I worked on myself as a partner, both to myself and my Alex. I read a lot of books. I started planning for a robust fall calendar. I sent invites for my first family High Holidays dinner where we’ll be the hosts. I deep cleaned the house and started getting rid of some items we’ve had lying around too long.

And now, finally, I’m beginning to find calm in the impending autumn. I love this time of year. I truly have a September soul. But this year I’m feeling a pressure I didn’t expect. Living on a street of young families, in a partnership with a higher education professional, and surrounded by a million colleges and universities, I’m feeling the stress of the start of the school year. I can remind my body every five minutes that I don’t have kids and so I need not stress that summer is over… but my body wants me to know that I AM THE KID! I AM STRESSED! WHAT AM I WEARING FOR MY FIRST DAY OF 6TH GRADE? It’s not much different from the college finals horror dreams I have, without fail, every December. I have to build a tool chest of ways to cope.

I’m letting the hard end to summer melt into the hard start of autumn. I’m working on letting the two build each other up in a way I’ve never felt a need to notice. Late summer and early autumn are trying, for me, to become their own wonderful thing. Beaches and foliage, warm sun and cool breezes, ice cream cones but maybe with a sweater on. I made a playlist for it. I’m trying hard to feel it and let it hold me. To make my September soul grow with me.

And, most importantly, I’m trying to honor the stress that still bubbles deep down inside. I don’t have a job, the world hurts, I miss people and I don’t know how to stop missing them, this autumn will be filled with big messy choices. And all of that is okay. And all of that will be part of how I grow. As a person, as a partner, as a friend.

This coming weekend I get to do some peaceful traveling to usher in the fall. This past Monday we enjoyed a beautiful start to September on the beach. We have new neighbors and the street feels alive and content. All is well. Even the messy stress parts.

I just learned how to make Onigiri and if you have never tried this delightful snack, I can’t recommend it enough. These little rice parcels are pristine on the outside and filled with pickle-y, flavorful, hearty goodness… a reminder that the stuff on the inside is sometimes the best and most exciting part. You’ll find the guide I followed, from Okonomi Kitchen, here. We filled our allergy friendly triangles with sautéed crumbled tofu, hot sauce, Japanese BBQ, and a whole lot of minced pickled ginger. Enjoy!